CEILING MURAL

This is the ceiling mural at a smokers lounge...Funny....

Dark nail polish is my achilles hill

So after watching the suckfest, I went home and decided to try out my new OPI lincoln after dark nail polish ..one of the most sort after colors of this fall season(thank you trixie. you do right by your fellow fashion whores). This stuff is selling out before it hits the shelves. I've had it for a few wks but hadn't gotten the time to paint my nails...dark nail polishes take so much more work than lighter ones. In light of that little fact I decided to watch one of those movies that lasted 2wks on big screen. Phat girls. WRONG MOVE. I thought marie suckanette was horrible, this was worse. Unlike the suckfest though, this movie had a plot...a really cliche boring one but a plot nontheless. It's about this two hundred plus pounder who has dreams of designing clothes for her fellow heavy weights ...only she couldn't find anyone to finance her dream. Somehow, she ends up winning a trip to a fancy luxury resort which she and her two friends drove to in a Chrysler Sebring (I blogged about them before) and she meets this Rich Nigerian Dr who is attracted to her because " In Nigeria a womans largeness depicts a higher social standing" (This is sadly true but only in remote villages)...anyway..i fell asleep somewhere around that because next thing I know it's 3am and the DVD menu is playing and I have nail polish smudged on my palms (please tell me how) and my nail polish had all these different textures….

UGH! Hate my life!

So it’s 3 am, I had to wake up, take the smudged nail polish off and put on two fresh coats then sleep like a gymnast in my effort to not smudge it again.

Marie Antoinette? more like Marie Suckfestnette!!!

I don't even know where to begin with this one.

First of all, 90% of the cast had American accents. Wasn't it supposed to be in France? Isn't she supposed to be Austrian? and I hate it when people try to bring a modern twist to something old and do it wrong...I can think of only one movie that did it right A knights tale(link). Everybody else tries and FAILS! All the rock music was horribly misplaced in the movie....and worst of all...there was NO DIALOGUE! Non! I can't remember even one conversation.

This Movie is supposed to be about the life of Marie Antoinette. One of the most hated queens of France and from what I heard Sophia Coppola(Ms. Director) was trying to portray her in a different light. give us more of an insight to her.....ummmmmmm ?????????

$9.25 I'll never get back. Anyway. The only reason I went is because Greys Anatomy was having a re-run night. Otherwise I wouldn't have wasted my precious Thursday evening on that bull!

the beautifully talented...the talentedly beautiful

It was OCTOBER 19th 2006.....

The cheers were quieting down and the crowd was taking their seats again while he looked on and smiled. He lifted his red plastic tea cup and took a sip. Slowly but surely, he put his cup down, swiftly placed his fingers on the step of his guitar and belted out: "it takes a crane to make a crane. It takes a two floors to make a story. It takes an egg to make a hen, it takes a hen to make an egg, there is no end to what I'm saying. Lalalalala life is wonderful lalalala....................." Big, fat, warm, loopy tears streaming down my face, enruptured by his beautiful face, beautiful voice and all I could think was LALALALALA lALA Jason Mraz is wonderful.......................

In the spirit of all things Halloween

$45k for a trendy pair of Christian Louboutins??

Dear Mr/ Mrs. I drive a Chrysler 300 therefore I must be oh so special,

First things first.....

300
MSRP* starting at: $24,555 300C SRT8 as shown: $43,195 is not 2006 Bentley Arnage Styles MSRP Price Range: $212,990 - $243,990


The simple fact that people would buy a Chrysler and try to pass it off for a Bentley(oh yeah I've you pricky bastards on the road with your Humongous sunglasses acting like Diddy aint got shit on you!) is pathetic... Either you have a Bentley or you don't. You all have this air about you when you "float" around in your giant-for-nothing-plastic-shells-you-call-automobiles.
If you can't afford something you don't need to try so hard...the inventors of Chryler showed a severe lack of innovation when they decided to act like street vendors and start mass producing knock-offs. Seriously...how unfathomable is it when someone's paying a $35k car loan and acting like they are paying a $300k car loan? Others go to the extreme of paying extra to get 'custon-made-grills' that make it look more like a Bentley...so not only are you paying a car loan, you are also paying a grill loan, a rim loan among other things....all in the name of looking like you are a baller...ITS PATHETIC....for that kinda money in loans you might as well have bought a mercedes, a bmw or a lexus..in otherwords... a real luxury vehicle!

Chrysler 300's have always been on my shit list from the first day I saw them.... They are a shiteous idea and I have no clue how it passed from the little man to the big wigs at Chrysler......and onto the Market..then again..didnt they used to have that fish looking Chrysler Sebring back in 2001? How long did that shitiousness last??? They are almost non-existent today..just as these 300's will go out of style within another yr or two...getting a Chrysler 300 is like paying $45k for a trendy pair of shoes you can barely afford...bitch you know that shit aint gone stay hot in the market..WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF?

Sincerely,

Resisting-the-urge-to-egg-you-and-your-car.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

Trusty Payroll Administrator(TPA): Good Afternoon this is *******(the-place-i-go-when-I-want-to-feel-suicidal!)
Crazy-Clueless-Lady(CCL): Uh. Yes. I wanted to return three copies of the Di Vinci code, see the problem was
TPA: I’m sorry to cut you short ma’am but I believe you have the wrong number
CCL: Oh. Is this Randal House?
TPA: No.Ma’am. It’s the-place-I-go-when-I-want-to-feel-suicidal.
CCL: So….Did you call in? Do I need to assist you with something?
TPA: (WHAT?) No. You ma’am you called me.(The only reason I’m being civil is because I think this might be a prank from corporate or something. Surely..no one can be this clueless)
CCL: Is this? 8(voice drifts off). Oh I think I might have dialed the wrong number.
TPA: (Yeah! No shit!) Yes. I think so too.
CCL: Aw…*giggle, giggle, giggle* Sorry about that.
TPA: Uhuh.

Two minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

Those men...........

I just got this Fwd and thought it was pretty funny.
Gotta Love Those Men

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma "
And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Rodger says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor


A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

A PRAYER....
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.


Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You're not holding the pillow down hard enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Star Wars

It's starting.....Stars are doing it the same way drunk men do it.....Saying it with their fists

http://www.forbes.com/business/businesstech/feeds/ap/2006/10/04/ap3066739.html

Shanna Moakler apparently punched Paris Hilton two nights ago in a night club. SWEET!

Pour some chocolate/ grease on these b!tches, put it on pay-per-view and hand me a hot dog and a beer......