Anything and Everything

OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-24T17:43:00.001-04:00

My # 2 school just sent me an acceptance letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND a scholarship for DOUBLE the size of the scholarship the other school was giving me!!!!! OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!!! Talk about confusing a girl. I was just starting to get into the other school and making peace with the fact that I might be there in the fall. Found an apartment right opposite campus and even planned out the layout of my apartment. Put a deposit down for it and EVERYTHING! OMG!!!!!

Im so confused and excited!!! Batman isn't picking up his phone and I really, really, really need to tell someone!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

new blog= blawg

2010-05-15T20:30:00.003-04:00

I'm going to law school in the fall and I've been so pre-occupied with law school stuff that I started a law school blog in March.... I have learned a lot of things in the past couple of months including the fact that law school blogs are generally reffered to as blawgs...how clever(!?!?!?!?!)

Anyway...I've been putting all my interest there and haven't had much time to dedicate to my fashion blog. Trying to figure out a way to intergrate the two and make it work for me. I'm still debating whether I should be annonymous or whether I should just go balls out with my name and everything....there are a lot of things to consider.

We'll see...

PS: I'm officially a blawgger!

Motivation

2010-02-23T00:22:00.001-05:00

Duro Olowu

2010-02-21T10:44:00.014-05:00

London's fashion week is off to a GREAT start! I have to admit that I hadn't heard of Nigerian born Duro Olowu but a little googling says that he's been around since 2004. Either way, I'm really glad I came across his collection. It's probably the only collection that I think I could wear straight off the runway. I love his vibrant mix of florals and geometrical shapes. The unlikely color combinations and the subtle touches of African prints is amazing. He said that he was listening to "dub" when he got inspiration for this collection which might explain the prolific use of Orange in this collection...

PS: Love the Oxfords with the sweater dress combo....yet another way I could wear my Oxfords..Can't wait for better weather!

PSS: Big shout out to africans doing big things! (yes its cheesy and I said it! WHAT?)

My first pair of Oxfords= love

2010-02-21T00:39:00.008-05:00

I first noticed oxfords on Sienna Miller while she was filming "The September Issue" and I instantly fell in love. I just purchased my first pair from Steve Madden on sale and I'm so excited to break them out in the Spring. I got them in grey because I don't have any grey shoes(even though I've been lusting for grey boots for two winters now) and also because it's different.

This is how the awesome people at stevemadden.com suggest wearing them:

Next, I'm going to buy these "Harrlem" boots from Steve Madden (customer loyalty..can you tell?) I love them in brown. They look really rugged...almost retro..love them!

In case any one is wondering, this is how Steve Madden suggests you wear them:

They look like lots of fun and I'm pretty sure that I can rock them in more ways than suggested. I can't wait to buy and rock these bitches!

**for clearer images go to www.stevemadden.com

Fall 2010- RTW

2010-02-20T22:18:00.007-05:00

The NY Mercedes Benz Fashion week is over and for the most part this years designs are uninspired. There is a lot of repetition; for example the Ralph Lauren collection is still synching sweaters like Michelle Obama has been doing since 2007. Most of the designers looks seem lazy in a very "been-there-done-that" kind of way...I know the past two years were affected by the state of the global economy but whats this years excuse? I find myself snoozing while looking at the latest looks but thats not to say that they are all bad....I like L'Wren Scotts take on the military look in these two ensembles...

One thing I noticed about most of the houses is that the hems are going even higher next fall so get ready to hit the hip abductor machine even harder at the gym...or at least do some squats and lunges.

Moving on to Londons fashion week. Crossing my fingers for some semblence of originality....

Puxatony Phil saw his shadow and It's snowing outside, but style.com says Spring 2010 is here!!!!!!

2010-02-02T22:17:00.021-05:00

Style.com just released the Spring 2010 what-to-buy list and it's full of incredible items. My favorites are by Balenciaga. I love these gladiator sandals($575) and the new version of the motocycle bag. It looks a little smaller which could pose as a problem(If I was in the market looking for a $1795 bag) but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new blue. It's a classic color that would work in any season. I'm pretty sure that even though it might not look like it from the pictures, they are the same shade of blue..It would probably be really tacky to wear both in the same outfit....right?

Speaking of motorcycles, I really like Sacai's deconstructed version of a motorcycle jacket. It is very apropriate for the uber feminine theme that most designers are following this season. "I'm a wanna-be fashionista and I approve this message" *thumbs up*
Sinclair 10 trench coat- $398 it's one of those great items that don't need much of a desciption. Except to say LOVE.

There were a lot of tribal and wild west influences on the Spring RTW runways. Chloe gave a more practical approach to the "wild west" idea with this purse. I'm flipping back and forth between love and boredom. I can't decide but at $1740, I don't have to ;-)

Speaking of tribal, these statement making DVF bangles are probably the "easiest way to wear the trend". Yep...I agree. When in doubt, keep it simple.

Are you are trend setter or a follower? Doesn't matter! If you have the confidence to wear bright red lipstick, Chanels rouge lipstick in "Byzantine Red" is the way to go for as little as $30 Speaking of Chanel.....Uncle Karl, WTF is going on with this crocheted mess?? $4525 for a purse that was obviously inspired by my grandmothers couch cover? I DONT think so! Still love ya! MEAN IT!!

Last and definitely least, these J Brand Cargo pants are described as blurring "the lines between military and safari with a fatigue green cargo pant"...ummm...WHAT? Who needs that? For now I hate the idea of cargo pants being turned into skinnies...It might also be a bias because J brand jeans typically look terrible on me...I don't know either way...

For the complete list of must have items, click HERE. You're welcome.

2010 grammys- the YES edition

2010-02-01T20:52:00.016-05:00

Two of my most favorite looks of the evening are the two ladies who decided to go completely safe and wear relatively simple(yeah! I'm talking about YOU crazy gaga!) and georgeous gowns. I'm not usually one to pick a safe outfit on the red carpet but based on everyone elses choices, these two ladies NAILED it. This is what we call perfection. Everything from the hair to the make up to the accessories. Great job ladies!

PS: Keri Hilsons neck and shoulders are to-die-for....uber toned yet feminine...Love it...Speaking of great bodies, I would wear the same exact thing to perform if I were as hot and as talented as Pink.... Her perfomance was astounding! She raised the bar that she had set at the AMAs and came back with a perfomance that I can undoutably say was the best of the evening...(Take THAT Gaga!!! love ya...MEAN IT!)

2010 grammys- the MAYBE edition

2010-02-01T20:41:00.005-05:00

Jennifer Hudson looks great! She's lost a lot of weight but still kept her curves and she looks nothing short of amazing.....that being said.....ummmm...Who the F draped that goofy looking skirt around her waist? Her outfit was ferosh before someone fell on her with that ill-advised satin BS. Sad! No bonus for that person!

A part of me loves this daring dress with the Hilary-Swank-Circa-2000-Oscar-Dress back but another part of me is annoyed by the flowers made out of a combination of sequins and outlandish buttons....Definitely not loving what it looks like from the front which should be what she saw first when she tried it on. I dont like her her bangs either. Talk about changing hair teams STAT! Paging Katy Perrys hair people: Her hair needs a makeover.. PRONTO! As a package she falls in the maybe category...it's definitely not an A+ but it's not an E either... Plus my I heart Katy Perry is in full gear so....it's hard to give her an E.

2010 grammys- the NO edition

2010-02-01T17:50:00.007-05:00

I'm not exactly sure what was going on this year on the red carpet or what kind of juice these stylists in Hollywood have been drinking but they need to put the bottles down and get to work....

Ciara's outfit is rather unfortunate. I don't know whether to comment on the lazy hair job or the excessively busy drape over her body suit. Some people in her hair team need a good talking to but her stylist has DEFINITELY got to go! no excuses.

Britney in Dolce and Gabanna- is it politically correct to make fun of Britney yet? I'm a HUGE fan(closet fan offcourse) but WTF is going on with this ridiculous-ness? There are certain things she would have to loose to make this outfit acceptable starting with the see through dress(whats up with the awkward length?), the fishnets, the sparkle shoes and the clutch...but then once she looses all that, she's left with a black body suit which is SOOO Lady gaga circa January 2009....so even at best this outfit is a fail!

Note to Britney and Ciara- Hire more NO people to save yourselves from this kind of situation in the future. Also, just because it's couture doesnt mean its a great idea! These two should have ended up on the cutting floor in first year at FIT....I'm just saying...Love ya! MEAN IT!!

PSS: This is Britney at the 2001 VMA's...this is the right way to wear the outfit. I would have much rather she committed the red carpet crime of wearing the same thing twice, than be subjected to that D&G disaster she wore on Sunday...Shame... Re-hire your old stylist girlie!

Off course it's Chanel!!! If not Chanel then who???

2010-01-03T10:52:00.003-05:00

2010's first look of the day is from the house of Chanel... as you can probably already tell, in my mind, I'm an ultra stylish person! I love the all black look with turquoise accessories... reminds me a little bit of this post. I'm not sure about the clear plastic bag though. It reminds me of working retail and only being allowed to bring a clear plastic bag to the sales floor... *shudder*

Brand New Decade!!

2010-01-02T18:30:00.007-05:00

We have to start the year right with two very important quotes from Uncle Karl:

“Of course there are some evening dresses that you cannot wear in daylight because it would be ridiculous, but there is a kind of dressy touch for daywear, too, ... And everything, it's easy. (There's) no barrier between dressy, day and sports. It's feminine 24 hours a day.”

AND

"There's no Chanel collection without black. (It) will never exist. Who can live without some black clothes?" - No one :-)

Its a new year, a new decade a raw canvas..the first brush stroke is the hardest but lets make this a masterpiece. Happy 2010! Remember, when in doubt, go with black...Keep it feminine bitches!

Fall investment..another late post

2009-11-27T23:23:00.003-05:00

I started noticing wrap sweaters a couple of years ago but they just recently became easily accessible a.k.a available at the average shopaholics price points...BCBG does a great job with these...great thing about the late post is that now they are on sale everywhere so we all get to save money..arent I the best?

A thing of beauty

2009-11-21T22:27:00.003-05:00

J.Crew describes this sweater as being "demurely chic and incredibly feminine, with a flounced ruffle neckline and a posy of hand-rolled merino roses (we're wearing ours with military-inpired cargos for a tomboy touch)". It is made up of Merino wool in a 14-gauge knit. Fitted. V-neck. Three-quarter sleeves. Hits at hip. Import. Dry clean. Need I say more? Go. Find. Buy. Merry Christmas!

Weekend rollout look by Ms. Patricia Fields

2009-11-20T22:48:00.007-05:00

It's been raining all week which made me think of this look that I loved, loved, loved when SJP rocked it in season 6 of SATC while she was in France with Aleksandr Petrovsky. This look is timeless. It's five years old at this point but its still stylish and very much "in". Way to go Patricia Fields!!

Dear Ms. Fields,

Thank you for styling this timeless outfit (among many others). You are and inspiration to all of us.

Love,

Wanna-be-fashionistas...

Look of the day the LV way

2009-11-18T20:36:00.004-05:00

My favorite look of the day this season happens to be by Louis Vuitton. LOVE it! It's exactly what my style is (in my mind) It's simple, it's girly without being over the top and the blue brooch on the sweater is a nice touch. I would pair this look with my favorie bag of the whole season also from Louis Vuitton:

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this purse...I know it's late in the fall to be introducing falls IT bag...but...This is it...find it, buy it, love it!!

Look of the day

2009-11-11T17:58:00.003-05:00

From the Cynthia Rowley Ready-To-Wear Fall 2009 collection. Loves it! simple yet chic and ladylike... YES!

I definitely got 24 out of 25

2009-11-06T10:20:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling a little (A LOT) down lately and I couldn't really pinpoint anything that is SO wrong with my life to feel that way. I mean I have the usual issues but nothing to explain how I feel until I came across this post on the Huffington post.

So you may be wondering, "Am I having a quarterlife crisis?" To help you answer that question, take my quarterlife crisis diagnosis quiz which consists of 25, appropriately, questions. Read each question carefully and answer quickly with a simple yes or no (don't over think it!):

1.Are you in a "funk" where you feel like nothing is terribly wrong, but nothing seems right either?

2. Do you feel older for the first time in your life?

3. Are you unmotivated, directionless or passionless?

4. Are you concerned that you don't know what you want to do with your life?

5. Do you feel pressure to grow up and get your adult life in order?

6. Do you feel entitled to a life much grander than the one you are living?

7. Do you often feel depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, lost, and maybe even a little hopeless?

8. Do you feel a lot of pressure and expectations to do, have or be something?

9. Do you ever feel that time is running out in regards to figuring out your career and deciding whether you want to get married and/or have children?

10. Are you stressed out by choices that seemingly will affect the rest of your life?

11. Are you experiencing confusion or disappointment in your career?

12. Do you feel that you have failed because you don't know what you want to do with your life?

13. Do you know what you want to do, but can't seem to make it work?

14. Is it difficult for you to make decisions and when you do, you question them?

15. Do you overanalyze yourself?

16. Do you ever feel guilty for complaining about your life or feel like you are disappointing people (especially your parents)?

17. Are you embarrassed that you have not figured out more?

18. Is a breakup, romantic relationship, or lack of one causing you stress and/or sadness?

19. Are you still living at home with mom and dad?

20. Do you frequently compare yourself to other people your age and feel like you don't measure up?

21. Do you feel financially unstable?

22. Could your self-esteem use an upgrade?

23. Are you thinking about going back to grad school because you don't know what else to do with your life?

24. Are you constantly thinking about the future resulting in anxiety and possibly panic?

25. Is your life just not at all turning out like you planned?

If you answered "yes" to 12 or more of the 25 questions above, you are likely to be experiencing a quarterlife crisis. But don't worry, this is not bad news! The purpose of the quiz is to show you that you are actually going through a very normal and natural rite of passage that no one may have warned you about.

Read more HERE if you are interested. At least now I know that there is a name for whats happening to me.

thought of the week

2009-10-29T00:41:00.002-04:00

"Screw ambition! When I grow up, I want to be a kept wife"

I'm having one of those weeks when I wish I was content with being someones trophy. Damn you ambition!

to bodysuit or not to bodysuit? THAT is the question

2009-10-28T21:21:00.007-04:00

Back in 1986, Donna Karan started th leotard sans pants trend that expanded from the runway to both high and low fashions. Fast forward to 2009 and here I am, getting ready to be the original lady gaga aka the wildly androgenous Ms. Grace Jones and I think it's funny that everything I need for the look already exists in my closet.

There’s no doubt that a leotard sans pants is sexy. The bodysuit’s real appeal lies in its streamlined simplicity. It's back with a HUGE shibang! Nicole Phelps at syle.com says "Wear it solo for sleek lines, or layer on a blazer or a pencil skirt, as Francesco Scognamiglio and Hussein Chalayan did, respectively, on their Spring catwalks. Celine’s Phoebe Philo and Stella McCartney, both champions of practical chic, showed one-pieces this season. And Karan herself put Sasha Pivovarova in a sleeveless version with a breezy skirt."

So...to bodysuit or not to bodysuit? it's your perogative fashionistas. Caution to the wise: You've got to know when to walk away. Watch the scale. Know what works for you.

It's back, live it, love it, breath it. Enjoy.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-26T08:24:00.003-04:00

From the John Galliano Fall 2009 Ready_to_wear collection..... It buffles me that this is actually considered street ready...the whole collection for that matter...

My Mr-AZ

2009-10-22T21:30:00.003-04:00

I'm dreaming of sleeping next to you

I'm feeling like a lost little boy in a brand new town

I'm counting my sheep and each one that passes is another dream to ashes and they all fall down.

And as I lay me down tonight,

I close my eyes,

what a beautiful sight

Sleeping to dream about you

And I'm so tired of having to live without you

But I don't mind.

Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired....

I woke up in the ditches.

I hit the light and I thought you might be here but you were nowhere.

(You were nowhere)Well, you were nowhere at home.

As I lay me back to sleep Lord I pray that I can keep

Sleeping to dream about you

And I'm so tired of having to live without you

Well, I don't mind

Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

(Just a little a lullaby to keep myself from crying myself to sleep at night.)

Sleeping to dream about you

I'm so tired of having to live without you

Well, I don't mind

Sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

When I'm sad, I listen to Jason Mraz and he makes me happy. When I'm happy and I need to celebrate my happiness, I listen to Jason Mraz and he keeps me happy. So my motto in life is "when all else fails, listen to Mr. AZ." All else has failed me this week thats why I'm drinking my third beer and listening to my Mr. AZ.

irritated

2009-10-16T11:06:00.002-04:00

Having a random conversation with a co-worker this morning when she randomly decided to ask me whether I'm pregnant.. WTF kind of retarded ass question is that? If I was and didn't want to talk to her about it, I would be offended...Even more offensive is the fact that I'm NOT pregnant, I'm 5"5, 120pounds and DEFINITELY not pregnant...

Since my ego took a hit, I decided to find a picture of my FINE FIT ASS and put it up...thats all....ugh! totally took a dump on my day! inconsiderate mofo!

Quote of the day (or my life)

2009-10-15T11:51:00.001-04:00

"After putting up with all this %@%$%$ at this point I think I deserve it."

Foolishness

2009-10-14T12:46:00.002-04:00

Lowly paid: **working on a project at the den (Satans offcourse). Typing away. Kicking ass and taking names while I’m at it. Get a notification about an incoming email but I’m busy..I’ll check in a bit**

UGH: Hey Lowly paid, did you read the email I sent you about 5 minutes ago

Lowly paid: Not as yet Ms. Ugh, Is it an emergency?

UGH: No. Not really. Take your time.

Lowly Paid: Oh ok...Thanks…I will look at it in a few minutes.

WTF is wrong with people? If it’s not an emergency and it’s only literally been 5 minutes, why did you come into my space to inquire about it? Isn’t the whole point of email so that we DON’T have to talk about it…corporate foolery much?

Keep, Keep, Keep

2009-08-01T23:07:00.005-04:00

Great news bitches! Tights are coming back in the fall! :-)

***Image from the Alexander McQueen RTW Fall 2009 collection***

???

2009-07-22T12:37:00.001-04:00

Ok...So whats wrong with wanting the president of the free world to look great in tight jeans?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE06Uzwk7mQ

Dear Mr. President

2009-07-15T13:24:00.005-04:00

What on earth is going on with your jeans?

Dad-jeans = NOT cute!

Love ya! Mean it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotchaaa!!!!!

2009-07-10T08:31:00.005-04:00

Is it safe to assume that both the French and the Americans love shapely gluteus maximus'?

Note to the presidents: The cameras are always watching

**Update: Apparently, the French and Americans DON'T necesarily love shapely bums***

Fall Couture- Valentino Edition

2009-07-09T10:13:00.005-04:00

Sheer- lacy dresses...Left from the Fall 2009 Valentino Couture show in Paris yestarday....Right, Hayden Pannetiere on her way to David Letterman two days ago...Notice a pattern?

Find, buy, enjoy...

You're welcome :-)

Bankrupsy????

2009-06-24T12:55:00.001-04:00

These are sad times my friends.... sad times...

Speaking of good things happening to hot people

2009-06-12T14:00:00.002-04:00

Real Madrid paid $133million to buy Christian Ronaldo from Man-U.......my only question is...Why on earth was he seen flirting with Paris Hilton? Of all the people in the world....Paris??? really?

In brighter news, he might be here to play a friendly game against the DC soccer team in August...More deets to come...i def want to see this

Resort 2010

2009-06-12T13:59:00.003-04:00

Simple and chick from the Ports 1961 collection

Favorite spring look from Badgley Mischka

2009-06-03T10:41:00.002-04:00

RTW Spring 2009

Civil liberties my ass!

2009-01-12T15:47:00.002-05:00

I have a bone to pick with both men and women…

WOMEN:

I’m a hardworking 24yr old about to graduate with a BS in Finance and looking forward to going to law school to pursue a JDMBA. While I have a great love in my life and would love to make some Obama babies, I have zero interest in procreating in the near future. My great love is almost deathly terrified of fatherhood and therefore loves my plan because it buys him more time to be the infant in the house. Most men react to my plan by pointing out how difficult and exhausting it will be but reassure me and let me know that they think I could handle it. Some respond by telling me that accumulating a $200k law school bill might not be worth the effort and I should explore all my options before I pick this one. (Oh, THANK YOU DADDY-O!! I manage to work full time and go to school fulltime and maintain a decent GPA as a FINANCE major but I didn’t think the money part through...THANK YOU for pointing that out!............. DIE!)
Women for the most part call me an over achiever, tell me that I have superficial priorities and that at the end of the day some things are important than others. This is code for having children and moving to the suburbs with a part-time job while my hard-working-sweat- stained significant other toils away to make ends meet. All the while being unable to support my shoe and purse addiction. But I’ll definitely be happy...You know why? Because I’ll have a family!!… WHAT???? Is this because I don’t look like the kind of person who can multi-task (have a family and a career)? Ugh! PS: I don’t consider it a waste of time doing something I have been dreaming about since I was a kid. I’ve always wanted to go to law school and whether I do or not will be MY decision hot dammed it!!!!! I didn’t have dreams of growing up to procreate and be a nurturer … I had dreams of wearing a power suit, carrying a brief case and being a high powered exec. Sure not all dreams materialize…but I should do what it takes to increase my chances right?
Now, I’m not asking for acceptance from every woman on the planet. I’m just saying that when 8 out of 10 women think I’m crazy instead of encouraging me, we have a problem….and yes..it’s an old song sang by many others so I understand that I’m not the first woman to be disappointed in the 8 crazies, but my disappointment is just as much a kick in the stomach as it has been for every other woman who goes through this….

I’ve typed too much. I’ll vent about the men tomorrow.

What would happen if I threw all caution to the wind and just bought this?1?

2009-01-03T20:35:00.003-05:00

It's fashion week bitches

2008-09-08T20:22:00.004-04:00

It's that time of the year again...Just as the days are starting to get shorter and the nights longer (??), we are reminded by the Spring '09 fashion week that the sun will shine again....!!........ hallelujah!

PS: When the sun DOES infact shine again and they re-open the pools, don't try this look at home bitches..

This is the kind of swim suit that breaks good bodies..so unless you spend your days on the cat walk, consider yourselves warned.

FYI...it's by Herve Leger for Max Azaria...if you're brave and want to go for it

PET PEEVE # 454025465419876521

2008-09-05T10:45:00.003-04:00

Improper/Inappropriate use of paperclips.

When people clip 35 sheets of paper with a tiny little paper clip that is stretched out beyond recognition OR when they clip two sheets of paper with a gigantic binder clip. It's all wrong and it flabbergasts and annoys me the same way.

THIS however, is a much more appropriate use of the paper/binder clip. We should all move to Thailand!

Question

2008-09-03T07:19:00.002-04:00

Why is it that the first female ever nominated to be vice president is plagued with all the issues that you would expect a female to be plagued with? Why couldn't they find a woman with less drama to put in the lime light..

I'm not mad about Sarah Palins personal life...In fact, I don't care. I think it's irrelevant.... I'm just pissed that as the first potential female vice-president, she's not a much stronger candidate representing all the strong women in the world... Are there any normal women in politics?

Where is Nancy Pelosi when we need her? If she was Republican would they have picked her instead? At least she's normal...as far as we know... ugh! disappointed.

In happier news...Karl Lagerfeld hit the nail on the head with this. I feel the same exact way.

XO.

naughty

2008-09-01T14:53:00.002-04:00

went to NYC this past weekend...ended up at Saks and eventually did something naughty...

----------

2008-08-27T01:10:00.000-04:00

44!!!

Oh yeah...Lil Mama is foolish for these two separate but related occasions

2008-08-07T00:14:00.002-04:00

LOL!!

2008-08-07T00:13:00.003-04:00

Crazy scarf and outfit aside, I still find him hot and I think that he and Blair should totally make some wild love next season.

Paris Hilton typically sucks but today...she rocks! Why?

2008-08-07T00:05:00.002-04:00

Because she schooled a presidential candidate!

I'm pretty sure several people in the McCain camp just got pink slips. The Obama- Paris comparison is awesome in theory but surely someone should have noticed that Paris' mom is a contributer and supporter of the senator(McCain) before running the otherwise brilliant ad......

Cheap tactics and propaganda aside, he just got schooled by an heiress who promisses to paint the white house pink, should she "win" the election....

Thats hot!

AMEN!!!!!!!!! This made my day

2008-07-29T22:37:00.002-04:00

I need a new bag for work...would this suffice? Or is it played out?

2008-07-27T12:37:00.001-04:00

Hawaiiiiiii here I come bitches!

2008-07-06T23:27:00.002-04:00

Going to Hawaii in 5 weeks...

Officially on the "watermelon" diet... first two days were a success....lets see how tomorrow goes.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

2008-07-06T23:23:00.002-04:00

UGH!

2008-06-19T09:50:00.001-04:00

I got "Carried away!"..... and I loved it!!

2008-05-30T12:19:00.003-04:00

At exactly 11:59pm last night, I got "Carried away"...and I savored EVERY moment of the 2hrs and 25minute designer filled eutopic heaven....

It's like a rollercoaster ride and I'm ready to get back on it..... Can't wait to see it again on Sunday...Once you've been to shoe heaven, you have to go back! at least once!

ok......????

2008-05-12T16:44:00.003-04:00

You've got my attention alright..I'm so shocked I dont know what to think.... but I know one thing for sure...she's got BALLS...BIG ONES!!

Fierceness to the max!

2008-05-09T11:28:00.003-04:00

Heidi Klum is a vision in that red dress. Well played Mrs. I'm- freakin-perfect-there's-not-much-I-can-do-to-get-in-the-way-of-my-flawlessness! Well, played!

Sigh

2008-05-08T10:33:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning feeling unnecessary, unjustifiable and rather portly I must say......

The dull weather is not helping me much either........

I'm a little late to the party

2008-05-01T22:50:00.003-04:00

I just invested in my first spring/summer 2008 nail polish color... I love it...it's sheer and looks clean.....now if only I can get it on without somehow managing to smudge it to the point where I could use my nails as sand paper...

Wish me luck

Tip of the day: Simplicity

2008-04-30T20:40:00.001-04:00

When in doubt, always go for the simple chic look.

This is what happens when an elf moves to India

2008-04-25T21:45:00.003-04:00

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't make this shiz up!

Perfectly symmetrical?

2008-04-23T22:18:00.002-04:00

So the love of my life comes into my office this evening while I am hard at work on my facebook page. Right after he kisses me hello, he says "HAH! Your zit is perfectly symmetrical. It's perfect!" and walks away like it's not a big deal................. CRINGE!!!!!

Can you walk in heels?

2008-04-22T21:13:00.003-04:00

Sergio Rossis creative director, Edmundo Castillo is in the May 2008 issue of Marie Claire giving tips on how to wear heels...

1. Change heel heights several times a day. Feet and legs shouldn't be allowed to mold themselves to any one shoe shape. (I could try that. I usually take my shoes off while I'm at my desk so I think I have this one covered)
2. Shoes are an emotional accessory; hurt your feet, hurt your feelings (whoa! slow down there...I read about the furniliac...or whatever that person who was loving his patio table is but emotions tied to shoes?? really??)
3. Befriend a salesperson who will tell you if a shoe will actually feel as good as it looks. (The people at the payless in my mall don't give a shit about me)
4. If you feel all the weight in the front of your foot, this heel's your arch enemy- literally.
5. Your foot needs to 'sit' in a shoe. If you can wedge two fingers between your sole- bye,bye
6. Platforms should be no more than one-and-a-half inches high- or you're dangling off a cliff. (I'll definitely be telling this to all my stripper friends. They could add "dangling off a cliff" to their lengthy resumes)
7. Think Cinderella: A heeled shoe must fit perfectly. Faking it with the wrong size will get ugly. (But the size options are so limited at Ross!)
8. Don't shoe shop with swollen feet e.g, when it's hot or right after exercise.
9. To elongate your legs, ankle straps should sit above the ankle bone. (oh men! anyone ever gotten those ankle strap shoes from payless that have elastic straps??? those bitches HURT!)
10. Still wobbling when you walk in your heels? Practice

Alright bitches.. Consider yourselves informed. The question remains: Can you walk in heels? Say it with me: "YES WE CAN!" May these ten steps guide you in the right direction in your future shoe lives.

Jason Mraz

2008-04-19T10:53:00.005-04:00

I'm about to get on a 3.5hour road trip to see Jason Mraz and I'm psyched!!! So happy...Not only is he amazingly talented, he's also hot! aha! so happy! I probably shouldn't be going on freaking road trip 2 weeks before the finals but who cares..I love him!

UPDATE: The show was awesome! he is so humble and down to earth he was in line before the show jugling and doing "majic" tricks, dancing with people..twirling girls around...signing autographs just being plain goofy...bushwala opened for him... Justinkredible was there too it wasn't as good as his show at tech..but definitely worth the 7hrs(to and from) on the road....

First Balenciaga, then Bakers and now Steve Madden?

2008-04-18T16:24:00.004-04:00

This is disgusting! Why is everyone making a knock off of this shoe??? Next thing you know Charlotte Russe will have their version of this craziness! WHY ??? WHY??? WHY??

umm?? Did I miss something??

2008-04-14T23:51:00.003-04:00

I know people like Snoop always have to step out of the box to get noticed on the red carpet but.....did I miss something? He's going country now? Is that what this sheer atrociousness is about? I'm confused

Giant sized shower cap

2008-04-10T15:15:00.002-04:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

A hideous shirt convention

2008-04-06T10:11:00.007-04:00

The Simmons sisters are 'wholesome' girls and I hate to be the one to talk shit about them but WTF? They've been in the public eye long enough to know that they need to hire a stylist. 90% of the outfits they wear on the red carpet are crap. Pure unadulterated crap. These outfits from last night however are on another level of hideousnesly inappropriate! Where the hell did Angelas top come from? Don't they live in New York? They should do themselves a favor and people watch.... Maybe then they'd realize that their two shirts were never really a part of any trend....

Get a stylist ladies! They most certainly can't afford not to get one! Maybe they'll find someone nice who'll give them a two-for-the-price-of-one deal??

Jennifer Love-WTF?

2008-03-30T16:37:00.004-04:00

Who dressed this poor woman? Why for the love of god almighty why??

..Whats with the bowtie on the front of that unflattering dress? Bowties are fine but if you're going to have one on a yellow dress then get dramatic with it..the bigger, the better. Everyone will understand. The pants with the shoes are atrocious.Wrong in EVERY sense of the word!

Word on the street is that this outfit was actually meant for Miley Cyrus. She took one look and said "HEoll to the NO!"

Friends shouldn't let friends leave the house dressed like that. Remember to love one another b*tches!

A little effort goes a long way

2008-03-29T22:09:00.002-04:00

The last time I got an oil change at my neighborhood jiffy lube I swore that I would never go back there again…but lo and behold, I was desperate once again for an oil change and didn’t have the time or the energy to drive to the neighboring state(where I used to live) to get my oil change from my favorite people….so I cringe, grit my teeth, wash my hair and I suck it up and go to the same Jiffy lube that ruined my day a little over three months ago…

I leave the house looking decent (it wasn't planned. Pure coincidence). Nothing spectacular but definitely on the cute side and the minute I drive up to Jiffy lube a gentleman stops what he is doing and RUNS up to my car, says hello in the most pleasant of ways and ESCORTS me to the waiting area…On the way to the waiting room they(the knuckle headed employees that were total as*holes the last time I was there) ALL called me ma’am, they thanked me after every sentence, explained exactly what they were doing to my car and asked for my opinion and finally they ALL said goodbye to me..it was almost as good as going to my the old oil change place where I was treated like the princess I am. This goes to prove my point, if you brush your hair and wear a cute outfit, you get better service…It’s not fair but that’s life.

Consider yourselves knowledgeable b*tches…go forth and wear cute clothes!

Enough is enough!

2008-03-27T19:07:00.003-04:00

Someone at Bad Boy *ahem..Diddy* has got to be able to afford a stylist for these poor girls...Aubrey and Aundrea have worn the same shoes in two separate photo shoots(on 2 separate days this week)....Which would be fine if the shoes were fierce...these shoes are "cute" at best.

they need to bring out their A game now more than ever because they are constantly being photographed while promoting their album...

D. Woods and Shannon look like they are going to the mall, Dawn and Aundrea look like they are about to hit the club while Aubrey...ugh! poor girl

It's SPRING b*tches!

2008-03-26T22:26:00.003-04:00

I've already brought out my pastels...have you?

Caption this

2008-03-25T22:02:00.002-04:00

The problem with Audrey O'Days' hair, make-up and outfit is ___________________

Sucka for love

2008-03-25T07:48:00.002-04:00

"I'm addicted to Kissing and Hugging
touching and rubbing
I'm a sucka for love, for love, for love.

If you're addicted to kissing and hugging
touching and rubbing
you sucka for love, for love,for love"

- Danity Kane

When bad clothes happen to crazy people

2008-03-20T11:45:00.005-04:00

So, crazy Heather McCartney a.k.a Ms. Outlandish is getting ready to go to court to hear the verdict on how much of her former husbands fortune, she’s going to get and she says to her stylist:

Ms. Outlandish: So, I’m probably getting $50million dollars which isn’t much. I wanted more. (GOLD DIGGING HEFFER)

Sylist: Yeah. That’s a b*tch…that A-hole! We have to make you look fierce. Let’s show him how hot you truly are.

Ms. Outlandish: YEAH!

Stylist: I know, lets put you in a clown outfit…BUT! With a twist. We’ll make it look like you are wearing a 70s suit. Maybe a Zoot suit? Nah. That’s too much..I’ll tone it down. You’ll be HOTT!

She showed to court looking like that. The judge gave her one look and awarded $24million dollars. Why? Because clowns don’t need $50 million!

Ps: Ms. Outlandish, Fire your stylist!! Wearing bright red lipstick with bright red eyeshadow is a crime against fashion..but THAT outfit is a crime against humanity.

Welcome to the Dollhouse

2008-03-19T17:09:00.007-04:00

Anyone who even remotely knows me, knows that I'm a sucker for all things girly and brainless…chick flicks, chick music, angry girl music…you name it, I'm all about it… In fact, one of my favorite movies of all time is '10 things I hate about you'….R.I.P Heath Ledger…
The Danity Kane album came out yesterday and I have been going crazy trying to find it because it seems to be sold out everywhere…I went to target yesterday and the general manager told me that it's probably not on the shelf because a lot of people called in sick…
um??? I didn't get it…but I'm assuming he meant, to say "go fuck yourself"
So I decide that I'm getting it today come rain or shine! it is actually raining today. How fitting!
along with liking girly knick knacks, I also like being able to sample shiz before it's reviewed. That way, I can have an honest opinion of my investment….If I read a movie/music review before I listen to the album or watch the movie, I freak out and don't watch it…why? Most chick flicks/albums get a C grade…but if I've already bought the album and it gets a C rating??? Who gives a shit? I LOVE it! I'm a little screwy I must admit.... I didn't watch 27 dresses because I waited too long to go see it and by then I'd heard that it wasn't that great of a movie…I still regret not seeing it opening weekend…but I digress
Anyway, I go to another target today and it's sold out there too, then to Barnes and Noble and its sold out there…so I drive to the ghetto mall knowing it couldn't be sold out there and sure enough, it's not…at the checkout counter, I'm talking to the douche and telling him how I've been everywhere and couldn't find the album and he says to me:
"I know, it's sold out everywhere! I'm surprised we still have it at this store. Yesterday I went to about three targets before I found it and even then it was one of the last copies" um…….I'm I missing something? I don't get it….how and why would he go to target if he works at F.Y.E??? Even worse, why would he go to THREE different targets??? Who is this idiot and why I'm I trusting him to correctly run my credit card transaction??? Where is his baby sitter?
Welcome to the Dollhouse is a great dance album…I'm loving it…so far…I haven't listened to the entire CD yet...But so far…it's awesome….I love my brainless chick music…
I could be brainy and use big words, watch intelligent movies, read boring books and prove to the world that I'm super smart, a genius in fact…or I could have subscriptions to Instyle magazine,Vogue, Bazaar magazine and Marie Claire, listen to Danity Kane, watch "my fair brady" religiously all the while maintaining a 4.0 and being the fabulous person that I am now….. I think I'll stay the same and let my work speak for itself. Part of being a genius is being able to switch it on and off.
PS: I love how Diddy doesn't let the world forget that he is the queen B of bad boy….all his little snippets are thrilling …. NOT!
Oh yeah, if you're wondering, I just justified my purchase of the Danity Kane album...I love blogging

Don't try this at home b*tches

2008-03-17T23:18:00.003-04:00

Spring is here and I believe that it is our (You and I) responsibility to remind each other that some things are better left on the runway....

This dress from the Spring 2008 Ready-to-Wear collection by Emilio Pucci looks fierce on the runway but is more likely than not to look atrocious anywhere else.... Very few people can pull it off.........

Consider yourselves warned!

All the rage

2008-03-16T15:25:00.003-04:00

I blogged about this a little while ago and now the April issue of Marie claire claims that they will be "all the rage this spring"...Thats right Bitches..consider yourselves educated....

Just for shits and giggles..

2008-03-14T19:29:00.002-04:00

I know this is an old picture but its STILL funny

Spring fashion alert

2008-03-12T18:59:00.003-04:00

"If you can lift your arm up this spring, you're not wearing enough bracelets"- Salvatore Ferragamo

Girlpower

2008-02-20T20:18:00.003-05:00

I'm going to the Spicegirls concert soon and I'm wondering what type of outfit would be appropriate for a SPICEGIRLS concert..I mean I can't look too posh because VB will be there...

Decision, Decisions......

I'm leaning towards skinny jeans..but I'm not sure yet... will update later.

Rrrrooaar!!!

2008-02-19T23:43:00.003-05:00

This Gucci patent leather peeptoe Bootie is going to be all the rage this spring.....

It's the kind of shoe that could make any ensemble FIERCE..and I mean ANYTHING

Ladies and Gentlemen…we HAVE arrived!

2008-02-16T08:47:00.003-05:00

Introducing, the Coco Chanel cell phone concept by professional accessories designer of luxury products, Fred de GARILHE.

WOW! Now thats what I call innovation...10 fingers up!

Todays look of the day- Tuleh runway collection

2008-02-04T21:45:00.001-05:00

Out of respect for fashion week, I will update the blog with my favorite looks from the days runway shows and have a "look of the day" segment everyday.

This look is from the Tuleh collection I love the colors and the details on this outfit from the herringbone jacket to the glittery stripes on the sweater to the yellow A-line skirt...ohhh and the boots, the boots! Love them!

What I love about this look is it's funky, colorful but not crazy. I would feel totally comfortable wearing this to work..

10 fingers up Tuleh!

I might not be watching the Super Bowl right now.......

2008-02-03T20:14:00.001-05:00

BUT!!!! I'm sending positive vibes your way Mr. Hotness.

GET 'EM BRADY!

BAM!

2008-02-03T07:45:00.000-05:00

Look of the day!!! Pre-Fall 2008. Thank you Uncle Karl.

From Nicole Miller, to Rag & Bone to Yigal Azrouel.....They WILL be back!

Say it with me......

AMEN!!!

Fall 2008 fashion plea

2008-02-03T00:24:00.000-05:00

Dear fashion gods,

Please don't kill the black tights and platform mary-janes trend..... When all else fails, my black tights always look fab!

All my love,

Fashion victim.

PS: I can't wait for the day you get rid of ALL kinds of animal prints!!

Soooooo Excited

2008-02-02T19:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Proffesor Newbie,

I know...you're pretty new at this whole "college gig" thing...but cut the crap!!
I don't have time to do little assignments every week just to make sure that YOU know I read the chapter before class....you categorically SUCK!

Oh yeah FYI, I hate you!

Smooches,

- Irritated student.

Priscilla, oh, Priscilla

2008-01-25T19:55:00.000-05:00

I haven't worked at Hellz Kitchen in about 9 months and I get a call from Priscilla (the replacement aka the new PA) and this is how the conversation goes:

Me: Hello

P: Hey there how are you?

Me: Good

P: Question for ya

Me: ok

P: Mr. Orange Conhead from Monkeys Inc hasn't shown up to work in over a week and they are getting worried about him. The number we have on file is an old number for him but I see here that you sent him a new ATM last March

Me: ATM? Whats an ATM?

P: Acknowledgement of Terms of Employment

Me: oh u mean ATE?

P: Yes. Anyway the phone number we have on file is from 2003 and im wondering whether you would know where I could find an updated number for him.

Me: oh ok. Please hold as I pull up my Rolodex that I keep with past employees from companies that I dont even work for anymore......

WHAT AN IDIOT!

Say what you want abt Ashlee Simpson but.......

2008-01-19T08:30:00.000-05:00

Thats Hott!

Brand new day...brand new me

2008-01-14T23:10:00.000-05:00

I've decided that since I'm no longer working in Hedes(and haven't been since June 2007) I'll blog about every other vain subject available...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

we'll see...

things I hate at the moment:

1. All the music in my ipod.
2. these last 5 lbs that wont go anywhere...AAAAAA
3. the fact that everything requires patience (which I dont have)
4. pull ups (long story)

best part of my day:

1. Finding out about the new OPI colors coming up in the spring...we are going from Russia to India....thanx trixie

This is why I'm hot

2007-05-16T19:03:00.000-04:00

Judy Jetson(JJ): Good Afternoon this is *******
Spidey Dolt(SD): (Thick accent) Good Afternoon. May I speak with Judy Jetson?
JJ: This is she.
SD: Ohhhh...JuuuDy!!! Happppy New Year!
JJ: *puzzled silence followed by* Happy new year to you too.
SD: ARE YOU STILL ACCEPTING NEW YEARS GREETINGS IN MAY FROM YOUR BRODA?
JJ: **silently contemplating suicide..or homicide...or suicide..or...homicide...or suici....**
SD: Oh! Look at you. You don't even know who this is (ohh you bet your annoying a$$ I do!) This is Spidey Dolt!
JJ: Hello Spidey (feigning the slightest hint of amusement)
SD: Hello Judy. Can I ask you a question?
JJ: (You already did!!!!) Sure what's up?
SD: If I took money out of my 401k....
JJ:Oh that would have to be handled at corporate through our benefits department.
SD: Oh. Yes. You told me that the last time I called. Is it still *****?
JJ: Yes.
SD: Is her number still 111-222-3334
JJ: (Hmm..Let me see. You called about this 3 months ago, I told you to call the same benefits department and gave you the same name. Do you effin see a pattern her?) Sure. Yes. Her number is 111-222-3334 (Four the upteenth time you mo-fo!)
SD: Ohh. OK. Thank you Judy.
JJ: You're welcome. Have a great afternoon.

Who is Spidey Dolt you ask??? THE DEVIL PLAYING PRANKS!

Typical day in Hedes

2007-04-12T19:22:00.000-04:00

I got a call from one of my clients asking about my company’s (Satans Kitchen) hiring procedures because he had a foreign contractor he wanted to add to his staff. So I sent the email below.
Hi Big Boss Man,
Attached is the ___ form as promised. On page three of the form isthe list of acceptable documents. Contractors either need to have one form of ID from list A or two forms of ID one from list B and one from list C. I hope that helps. Please let me know if you have any further questions.
Thank you,
Peee Ayye!

So he forwards the email to the candidate along with the msg:

Hi El- Stupido,
Per our discussion. Please contact Pee Ayye at Satans Kitchen if you require additional information.
Regards,

Big Boss Man

El-Stupido then takes her cue and sends me the email below:

Hello Peee Ayye,
I am have been working for ***** for 9 years, training for 5 of thoseyears(STOP! please hold while I polish your Oscar) and will be working as a private training consultant in August. I am not sure how much Big Boss Man has told you about me and future opportunities training with satans kitchen?Can you help me understand the process?
Regards,

El- Stupido

At this point I’m thinking..WTF?

Hi El- Stupendous,
Mr Big Boss Man didn't tell me much about you. He had asked me what documentation weneeded in order to hire someone who wasn't a citizen on our payroll.I had sent him the __ form (attached). Please review page 3 of the __ form.It shows all the necessary documentation. You either need one from List A ora combination of one ID from list B and another from list C. If you have anyfurther questions, please give me a call.
Thank you,

Peee Ayye

I thought all was clear and rainbows were starting to form in my skys when I got this:

Hello Peee Ayye,
What is the process you have gone though in the past when hiring anyone from **** or any other country outside of ***? In regard to the attached form, this does not help me understand the process asI am a ***** citizen and therefore do not have the documents mentioned.Any insight would be helpful.
Thank you,
El- Stupido.

How many different ways can I explain to El- Stupendous that it is what it is…I need is what I need? If you don’t have the documents then that means you need to get them…..simple..In my opinion(and a rather humble one by the way) I was very clear…. WAS I FREAKING NOT? People like her make satans kitchen is what it is!

You know you're having a bad day when.....

2007-04-04T17:21:00.000-04:00

I was at the airport last night waiting for my one-and-only's delayed flight so I decided to make a restroom stop.

Everyone left and I was alone in the restroom.As I was washing my hands over the sink a custodian/janitor/maintenance engineer comes in. She looks about 38-43(you know the tough age for women when you aren't a fossil but you are so close to being one you might as well be?), bad stringy hair..just having a rough time basically. The minute she walks in she exclaims: "why is it so hard for you trick mutha****** to keep a bathroom clean? DAMN! DAMN! I just cleaned this bathroom" Pause while walking around "You mutha***** can't clean up after yourselves!"

Meanwhile, a 55year old woman walks in talking on her cell phone followed by her mother(im assuming) who was so old she needed a walker to get around...The custodian looks at her and goes "there they go, trick a$$ mutha****** walking in here talking on they damned cell phones! mmmm hmmmm!" as the 55year old walked past her and her mother was walking a lot slower (DUH!) and in the way of the custodian who was on her way out she goes "YEAH! Trick a$$ mutha***** taking your sweet damned time like I aint got sh!t to do!" (I swear..I'm not even kidding) Then she walks out mumbling all sorts of curses and when she's outside the door I hear her say "......making me work extra...... Lord help me 4 I kill somebody! Trick a$$ mutha******" and she walks back into the bathroom with her big cart walks into the first stall and goes "THEY ALREADY DONE FINISHED THE TOILET PAPER! DAMN THESE TRICK A&& MUTHA*****!" at which point I sprinted out of the bathroom in tears because I couldn't hold the laughter in any longer... I was really scared of her but at the same time I couldn't believe her tantrum..... I mean she must have known we could CLEARLY hear her......WHO DOES THAT?

Gee, I wonder what kind of day she was having....

Vivid narrative

2007-03-21T18:29:00.000-04:00

Some perv wrote the article below for Mens style magazine about Justin Timberlake...I mean is it even about Justin Timberlake?

http://men.style.com/details/features/landing?id=content_5474

Too Tacky to be true

2007-03-15T09:39:00.000-04:00

I was doing my usual browsing through my favorite blogs when I came across the above pictures!! Oh my goodness! Luckily I had a barf bag close to me.

For more pictures from this classy and tasteful wedding, check out The Trixies page. What's the difference between being classy and being tacky anyway?

You get an E for Effort!

2007-03-14T17:23:00.000-04:00

PA: Good Morning, this is *******
None Other Than(NOT): Hey PA it’s NOT. I didn’t get my check yesterday so I missed my hair appointment and now they don’t have another hair appointment available for a whole week. But that’s not your fault(No $h!t). I think it’s because Monday was a holiday(presidents day).
PA: The system shows that your check was mailed out on Tuesday as it they normally are.
NOT: Yeah. I figured as much. It’ll probably be in the mail today.
PA: Yes. Hopefully.
NOT: All right. That’s all. Thank you.
PA: You’re welcome.

*** Somehow, I think that whole phone conversation could have been avoided! and telling me about your hair appointment doesn't make the situation any more serious in my mind. This woman is driving me crazy. How can one person be so needy?****

glass ceiling

2007-02-07T20:34:00.000-05:00

For some reason, women make up about 70% to 80% of my entire company. It might have something to do with the whole Womens Business something something that we are part of, but pretty much everyone I know is female. Especially at corporate.

Most if not all these females are total bitches! They are the most inconsiderate, emotional and moody fuckers I've ever had to deal with. Granted I've never met any of them since I come from a small branch and there are 35branches all over the country, but I still get to correspond with them through email and whatnot and I have to say...ITS NOT FUN.

I hate all of them. Bitches!

Working for this company makes me realise why there is a glass ceiling concept and that coming from a woman is a SAD thing. But too many women in the work place definately spoil the broth.

Everyone is trying to proove just how important they are. Everyone is such a princess and they think that everyone elses lives revolves around them...but guess what bitches? IT DOESNT.

My advise to these bitches is GROW. THA.FUCK.UP!

I cant say that I hate you....

2007-01-10T20:49:00.000-05:00

Dictionary.com defines the word idiot as:

Main Entry: idiot
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: stupid
Synonyms: ass, blockhead, boob, booby, cretin, dimwit, donkey, dork, dumb ox, dumbbell, dunce, dunderhead, fool, halfwit, ignoramus, imbecile, jackass, jerk, kook*, meathead, mental defective, moron, nincompoop, ninny*, nitwit, pinhead*, pointy head, simpleton, stupid, tomfool, twit*, yo-yo
Antonyms: genius, intellectual
Notes: an idiot is a stupid person with a mental age below three years, while a moron is a stupid person with a mental age of between seven to twelve years

I really had NO idea! Who’s the idiot now? Using words I don’t understand…

Anyway…reason I was looking it up was…I had the following conversation 2 minutes ago

Nincompoop (otherwise known as Anns-new-self-annointed-mngr/contractor) calls and says: Hey is Ann there?

Me: No. She’s out to lunch. Would you like her voicemail?

Nincompoop: No. I just wanted to tell her that I’m leaving at 3pm (mind you she already told Ann that this morning).

Me: Ok. Sure. I’ll let her know.

Nincompoop: Also, can you fax me a timecard?

Me: (rolling my eyes cuz I hate it when they do this..but ok with it because she doesn’t abuse me with this all the time anyway…) Sure. Whats your fax number

Nincompoop: *as if to add salt to injury, Lets out a long drawn out groan…like uggghhhh!* You don’t have it?

Me: Nope!

Nincompoop: *Uggghhhhh!* Ok. Fine. Let me call you back!

Me: Ok.

Some people are too stupid to hate.

Crack is whack!

2007-01-08T21:32:00.000-05:00

I always give my new hires a paper that says the following:
Your position with XXX and its client is dependent upon successfully passing a pre-employment drug screening. You will need to take the enclosed XXX chain of custody form along with picture ID to a collection facility to have this test performed.

Please call 1-800-XXX-XXXX to obtain the closest collection sites to you.
Press:
Option 1: “location for urine drug screen location” followed by
Option 1: “Urine drug screen location facility” then
Option 2: “all other drug screen facilities”
Enter your 5 digit zip code

Or, you can visit www.XXX.com to get drug screen locations online.

I received the following phone call today.

Not-So-Smart (NSS): Hi, I was wondering if you guys knew of any drug testing locations near you.
Payroll Administrator(PA): You mean close to this office?
NSS: Yes
PA: I don’t know of which particular ones are close to this office but I can give you our zipcode to look it up.
NSS: WAIT A MINUTE! LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU ARE TELLING US TO GO GET DRUG TESTS BUT YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE THE LOCATIONS ARE?
PA: Along with your drug testing form, I gave you a paper that gives you detailed instructions on how to find a location close to you by entering your zipcode.
NSS: SO you don’t know of any facilities close to you?
PA: I don’t physically go to any of these drug testing locations. So. No. But I can give you our Zipcode and you can either call the 800 # to find out or find it online. Would you like me to give you my zipcode?
NSS: No. I have it right in front of me.
PA: Alright. All you have to do is call the 800 number and you’ll find locations by entering the zipcode. Or visit the website if you like.
NSS: um hmmm. Thank you(with an attitude that I don’t need)
PA: Um hmmm(mirroring her). Thank you. Have a wonderful day.

Effin Ipod

2006-12-27T23:07:00.000-05:00

I had a quick question about my ipod so I decided to call the store closest to me to see if I could get some assistance.

After going through literally 5 different menu’s I end up with:

Ben: Technical support this is Ben, how may I help you?

ME: Hi there, I got a new Ipod to replace my current one and was wondering weather you guys would be able to transfer all the songs on my current ipod to the new one.

Ben: I’m not sure about that.(and you are in Technical Support?) for that you would have to call a store and see if they can help you.

ME: I dialed the store and ended up with you!

Ben: Try again and this time on the menu pick the “other” option and you’ll get the store.

ME: Thank you.

Another phone call and two menus later

Idiotus Maximus(IM): Thank you for calling the apple store at **** mall, how may I help you?

ME: Hi Idiotus Maximus, I got a new Ipod to replace my current one and was wondering weather you guys would be able to transfer all the songs on my current ipod to the new one.

IM: Well, we are not able to do that here. But you could maybe find something on google to assist you with that.

ME: But you are the apple store. Your company created this product. If you guys don’t know how to do it, how would I find it on google?

IM: Well (2nd “well” in this conversation. So much for customer service!) Apple does not have software that supports that. Maybe if you had a computer that could support that…

ME: I tried transferring the songs from my ipod to my itunes library but it wouldn’t let me.

IM: Right. Because itunes does not support the transferring of songs from the ipod unless you stored them on your ipod as data files and not as songs but then that would take up more space and you wouldn’t be able to listen to the songs (so why would I get an ipod to use as a hard drive if I can’t listen to the songs?) because you would be using the ipod as a hard-drive

ME: How is it, that when I buy a new cell phone, I can go to the t-mobile store and have them transfer all the info(address book etc) from one phone to another but apple can’t figure out a way to transfer all my songs from one ipod to another?

IM: I DON’T KNOW!

ME: I thought so. No one seems to know anything. Thank you.

Oh my goodness they are ridiculous!

Articulation

2006-12-12T17:23:00.000-05:00

Don’t you just LOVE it when you say something to someone then they tell it to you more articulately and act like they are teaching you something…worse yet, you are too busy to say anything so you just go…oooohhh and pretend you’ve been schooled?

Case in point:

Me: Yeah. I wanted to go see Borat.
T: Booorrraatt( FRAT BOY!), yeah. You know I saw a picture of that dude and he looks pretty normal??
Me: Yeah. I know..Remember he used to be Ali G?
T: He still is. The show is still going on on HBO
Me: Really he still is? I didn’t know that
T: Yeah. Actually, he’s not Ali G. Ali G is a character he plays and Borat is another character played by the same actor.
ME: (Say it with me) Ooooohhh!

*gritting my teeth*

Kramer f@cked up in a MAJOR Way

2006-11-21T07:23:00.000-05:00

This rascist bigot said some really offensive shit and came on letterman last night to apologize and try to explain his actions. Click here to read the full "apology".

Yes. In some alternate universe this is supposed to make sense!

Coathanger/mixer

2006-11-09T10:42:00.000-05:00

To use for your wardrobe, and for the extreme necessities in your kitchen!

This item actually exists for sale on this website at18.50 Euro’s a piece,

Incase you want to give a practical gift this Christmas.

Elections? What Elections? Britney Spears just filed for divorce

2006-11-07T19:06:00.000-05:00

SHES BRINGING SEXY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. There is a God out there and he has been listening..there were rumors that since she wanted two children she was going to let K-FED father them then leave his ass and I didn't quite believe it..but...ITS TRUE!

She's free..shes freeee...shes freee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is just about the happiest day of the year for me. I wasn't a Britney fan until she started going down the drain(after marrying federjerk)...I didn't know what I had until it was gone...now...I'm all about Britneys comeback...

Awww...poor fed-ex! Maybe Shar Jackson will take him back...NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything and Everything

OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new blog= blawg

Motivation

Duro Olowu

My first pair of Oxfords= love

Fall 2010- RTW

Puxatony Phil saw his shadow and It's snowing outside, but style.com says Spring 2010 is here!!!!!!

2010 grammys- the YES edition

2010 grammys- the MAYBE edition

2010 grammys- the NO edition

Off course it's Chanel!!! If not Chanel then who???

Brand New Decade!!

Fall investment..another late post

A thing of beauty

Weekend rollout look by Ms. Patricia Fields

Look of the day the LV way

Look of the day

I definitely got 24 out of 25

thought of the week

to bodysuit or not to bodysuit? THAT is the question

Happy Halloween

My Mr-AZ

irritated

Quote of the day (or my life)

Foolishness

Keep, Keep, Keep

???

Dear Mr. President

Gotchaaa!!!!!

Fall Couture- Valentino Edition

Bankrupsy????

Speaking of good things happening to hot people

Resort 2010

Favorite spring look from Badgley Mischka

Civil liberties my ass!

What would happen if I threw all caution to the wind and just bought this?1?

It's fashion week bitches

PET PEEVE # 454025465419876521

Question

naughty

----------

Oh yeah...Lil Mama is foolish for these two separate but related occasions

LOL!!

Paris Hilton typically sucks but today...she rocks! Why?

AMEN!!!!!!!!! This made my day

I need a new bag for work...would this suffice? Or is it played out?

Hawaiiiiiii here I come bitches!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

UGH!

I got "Carried away!"..... and I loved it!!

ok......????

Fierceness to the max!

***Sigh***

I'm a little late to the party

Tip of the day: Simplicity

This is what happens when an elf moves to India

Perfectly symmetrical?

Can you walk in heels?

Jason Mraz

First Balenciaga, then Bakers and now Steve Madden?

umm?? Did I miss something??

Giant sized shower cap

A hideous shirt convention

Jennifer Love-WTF?

A little effort goes a long way

Enough is enough!

It's SPRING b*tches!

Caption this

Sucka for love

When bad clothes happen to crazy people

Welcome to the Dollhouse

Don't try this at home b*tches

All the rage

Just for shits and giggles..

Spring fashion alert

Girlpower

Rrrrooaar!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen…we HAVE arrived!

Todays look of the day- Tuleh runway collection

Sigh