paper cut of the week

For the past three weeks all my contractors pay stabs have had a notice that says

“Due to Holiday week, direct deposit will be delayed. Please be sure to turn in your timecards by Friday May 26th for timely payment.”

Off course the language used is not easy enough for some of the most simple minded people I have to deal with.

Stupid Contractor (CS) calls on Tuesday: Hi, I just wanted to verify that you got my timecard on Friday and that my $$ will be in my account tomorrow
Payroll Admin (PA..aka Me) : I’m sorry CS but the last three pay stabs have informed you that since Monday was a national holiday, you direct deposit will be running late this week
CS: (raising her voice and getting nasty) Yeah but I faxed my timecard on Friday so I assumed that you would process it on Friday and pay me on time!!
PA: well, **** unless you work Saturday and Sunday, you are supposed to send me your timecard on Fridays. Payroll is processed on Mondays. Since Yesterday was a public holiday, the banks were closed so we couldn’t process payroll anyway.
CS: (louder) NAH AH! That’s not good enough! I need to have that $$ in my account tomorrow. A gat checks rolling in I can’t have non-o-that. You need to get this fixed I faxed in my timecard on Friday so I should have been paid by Sunday.
PA: Actually. That’s not how it works. Your pay stubs clearly stated that you check will be late so…
CS: (cuts me short) NO! I need that $$ in my account tomorrow. Something needs to be done!
PA: (calm and short) Miss ______ I’m sorry there is nothing that I can do for you at this point. If you would like to contact the corporate office or my boss to confirm this info I would be more than happy to provide their phone numbers.

*hangs up on me*

Good gosh some people are just so exasperating! I don’t understand it. Every week someone finds a new way of being the paper-cut in my life.