Text msg from a higher power

It has recently come to my knowledge that everyone(most of) I work for/ with thinks that god sends me a text msg to tell me EVERYTHING!

Crazy Buffoon(CB): PA, oblivious contractor has worked for the past two weeks and he hasn’t been paid. Why haven’t you paid him? ( because I’m the kind of evil bastard who just likes to not pay some people from time to time. It’s just how I do things! What do you think?)
PA(Trying to figure out who oblivious contractor is..): Who?
CB: OBLIVIOUS CONTRACTOR!
PA: Where does he work?
CB: Nowhere important!
PA: What’s his position?
CB: Seats on his ass and makes over a hundred gees(getting increasingly irritated by my questions. But I have to ask)
PA: I haven’t received any sort of correspondence from him be it timecards or expense reports.
CB: WHY NOT? (Because I told him I would kick his ass if he contacted me in anyway! Ask him! I don’t know! Shouldn’t he be the concerned fool calling me because he’s been working for us and hasn’t received a paycheck since his start date? )
PA: *silence*
CB: Have you called him?
PA: (well considering 5 seconds ago I didn’t even know who he was…) No. But I will in a few minutes.
CB: Make that as soon as you get off this call and let me know what he says
PA: Sure.

5 minutes, a v-mail and email sent later

PA: I just left him a v-mail and followed up with an email so hopefully he will respond by Monday.
CB: You should get him paid as soon as possible. (NO SHIT!)
PA: Yes. As soon as he sends me an approved timecard, I’ll pay him.
CB: Make sure of that
PA: (Thinking of different ways of saying I HEARD YOU! Without being rude). Sure.

Apparently I forgot to read the text msg that god sent me telling me that oblivious contractor is an employee at my branch, started working 2 wks ago, is too lazy to send me his timecards and get paid like everybody else so I have to chase him around so I can give him his money. Forgive me father for I have sinned! UGHHHHHHHHH!