Tip of the day: Simplicity

When in doubt, always go for the simple chic look.

This is what happens when an elf moves to India

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't make this shiz up!

Perfectly symmetrical?

So the love of my life comes into my office this evening while I am hard at work on my facebook page. Right after he kisses me hello, he says "HAH! Your zit is perfectly symmetrical. It's perfect!" and walks away like it's not a big deal................. CRINGE!!!!!

Can you walk in heels?

Sergio Rossis creative director, Edmundo Castillo is in the May 2008 issue of Marie Claire giving tips on how to wear heels...

1. Change heel heights several times a day. Feet and legs shouldn't be allowed to mold themselves to any one shoe shape. (I could try that. I usually take my shoes off while I'm at my desk so I think I have this one covered)
2. Shoes are an emotional accessory; hurt your feet, hurt your feelings (whoa! slow down there...I read about the furniliac...or whatever that person who was loving his patio table is but emotions tied to shoes?? really??)
3. Befriend a salesperson who will tell you if a shoe will actually feel as good as it looks. (The people at the payless in my mall don't give a shit about me)
4. If you feel all the weight in the front of your foot, this heel's your arch enemy- literally.
5. Your foot needs to 'sit' in a shoe. If you can wedge two fingers between your sole- bye,bye
6. Platforms should be no more than one-and-a-half inches high- or you're dangling off a cliff. (I'll definitely be telling this to all my stripper friends. They could add "dangling off a cliff" to their lengthy resumes)
7. Think Cinderella: A heeled shoe must fit perfectly. Faking it with the wrong size will get ugly. (But the size options are so limited at Ross!)
8. Don't shoe shop with swollen feet e.g, when it's hot or right after exercise.
9. To elongate your legs, ankle straps should sit above the ankle bone. (oh men! anyone ever gotten those ankle strap shoes from payless that have elastic straps??? those bitches HURT!)
10. Still wobbling when you walk in your heels? Practice

Alright bitches.. Consider yourselves informed. The question remains: Can you walk in heels? Say it with me: "YES WE CAN!" May these ten steps guide you in the right direction in your future shoe lives.

Jason Mraz

I'm about to get on a 3.5hour road trip to see Jason Mraz and I'm psyched!!! So happy...Not only is he amazingly talented, he's also hot! aha! so happy! I probably shouldn't be going on freaking road trip 2 weeks before the finals but who cares..I love him!

UPDATE: The show was awesome! he is so humble and down to earth he was in line before the show jugling and doing "majic" tricks, dancing with people..twirling girls around...signing autographs just being plain goofy...bushwala opened for him... Justinkredible was there too it wasn't as good as his show at tech..but definitely worth the 7hrs(to and from) on the road....

First Balenciaga, then Bakers and now Steve Madden?

This is disgusting! Why is everyone making a knock off of this shoe??? Next thing you know Charlotte Russe will have their version of this craziness! WHY ??? WHY??? WHY??

umm?? Did I miss something??

I know people like Snoop always have to step out of the box to get noticed on the red carpet but.....did I miss something? He's going country now? Is that what this sheer atrociousness is about? I'm confused

Giant sized shower cap

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

A hideous shirt convention

The Simmons sisters are 'wholesome' girls and I hate to be the one to talk shit about them but WTF? They've been in the public eye long enough to know that they need to hire a stylist. 90% of the outfits they wear on the red carpet are crap. Pure unadulterated crap. These outfits from last night however are on another level of hideousnesly inappropriate! Where the hell did Angelas top come from? Don't they live in New York? They should do themselves a favor and people watch.... Maybe then they'd realize that their two shirts were never really a part of any trend....

Get a stylist ladies! They most certainly can't afford not to get one! Maybe they'll find someone nice who'll give them a two-for-the-price-of-one deal??

Jennifer Love-WTF?

Who dressed this poor woman? Why for the love of god almighty why??

..Whats with the bowtie on the front of that unflattering dress? Bowties are fine but if you're going to have one on a yellow dress then get dramatic with it..the bigger, the better. Everyone will understand. The pants with the shoes are atrocious.Wrong in EVERY sense of the word!

Word on the street is that this outfit was actually meant for Miley Cyrus. She took one look and said "HEoll to the NO!"

Friends shouldn't let friends leave the house dressed like that. Remember to love one another b*tches!

A little effort goes a long way

The last time I got an oil change at my neighborhood jiffy lube I swore that I would never go back there again…but lo and behold, I was desperate once again for an oil change and didn’t have the time or the energy to drive to the neighboring state(where I used to live) to get my oil change from my favorite people….so I cringe, grit my teeth, wash my hair and I suck it up and go to the same Jiffy lube that ruined my day a little over three months ago…

I leave the house looking decent (it wasn't planned. Pure coincidence). Nothing spectacular but definitely on the cute side and the minute I drive up to Jiffy lube a gentleman stops what he is doing and RUNS up to my car, says hello in the most pleasant of ways and ESCORTS me to the waiting area…On the way to the waiting room they(the knuckle headed employees that were total as*holes the last time I was there) ALL called me ma’am, they thanked me after every sentence, explained exactly what they were doing to my car and asked for my opinion and finally they ALL said goodbye to me..it was almost as good as going to my the old oil change place where I was treated like the princess I am. This goes to prove my point, if you brush your hair and wear a cute outfit, you get better service…It’s not fair but that’s life.

Consider yourselves knowledgeable b*tches…go forth and wear cute clothes!

Enough is enough!

Someone at Bad Boy *ahem..Diddy* has got to be able to afford a stylist for these poor girls...Aubrey and Aundrea have worn the same shoes in two separate photo shoots(on 2 separate days this week)....Which would be fine if the shoes were fierce...these shoes are "cute" at best.

they need to bring out their A game now more than ever because they are constantly being photographed while promoting their album...

D. Woods and Shannon look like they are going to the mall, Dawn and Aundrea look like they are about to hit the club while Aubrey...ugh! poor girl

It's SPRING b*tches!

I've already brought out my pastels...have you?

Caption this

The problem with Audrey O'Days' hair, make-up and outfit is ___________________

Sucka for love

"I'm addicted to Kissing and Hugging
touching and rubbing
I'm a sucka for love, for love, for love.

If you're addicted to kissing and hugging
touching and rubbing
you sucka for love, for love,for love"

- Danity Kane

When bad clothes happen to crazy people

So, crazy Heather McCartney a.k.a Ms. Outlandish is getting ready to go to court to hear the verdict on how much of her former husbands fortune, she’s going to get and she says to her stylist:

Ms. Outlandish: So, I’m probably getting $50million dollars which isn’t much. I wanted more. (GOLD DIGGING HEFFER)

Sylist: Yeah. That’s a b*tch…that A-hole! We have to make you look fierce. Let’s show him how hot you truly are.

Ms. Outlandish: YEAH!

Stylist: I know, lets put you in a clown outfit…BUT! With a twist. We’ll make it look like you are wearing a 70s suit. Maybe a Zoot suit? Nah. That’s too much..I’ll tone it down. You’ll be HOTT!

She showed to court looking like that. The judge gave her one look and awarded $24million dollars. Why? Because clowns don’t need $50 million!

Ps: Ms. Outlandish, Fire your stylist!! Wearing bright red lipstick with bright red eyeshadow is a crime against fashion..but THAT outfit is a crime against humanity.

Welcome to the Dollhouse

Anyone who even remotely knows me, knows that I'm a sucker for all things girly and brainless…chick flicks, chick music, angry girl music…you name it, I'm all about it… In fact, one of my favorite movies of all time is '10 things I hate about you'….R.I.P Heath Ledger…
The Danity Kane album came out yesterday and I have been going crazy trying to find it because it seems to be sold out everywhere…I went to target yesterday and the general manager told me that it's probably not on the shelf because a lot of people called in sick…
um??? I didn't get it…but I'm assuming he meant, to say "go fuck yourself"
So I decide that I'm getting it today come rain or shine! it is actually raining today. How fitting!
along with liking girly knick knacks, I also like being able to sample shiz before it's reviewed. That way, I can have an honest opinion of my investment….If I read a movie/music review before I listen to the album or watch the movie, I freak out and don't watch it…why? Most chick flicks/albums get a C grade…but if I've already bought the album and it gets a C rating??? Who gives a shit? I LOVE it! I'm a little screwy I must admit.... I didn't watch 27 dresses because I waited too long to go see it and by then I'd heard that it wasn't that great of a movie…I still regret not seeing it opening weekend…but I digress
Anyway, I go to another target today and it's sold out there too, then to Barnes and Noble and its sold out there…so I drive to the ghetto mall knowing it couldn't be sold out there and sure enough, it's not…at the checkout counter, I'm talking to the douche and telling him how I've been everywhere and couldn't find the album and he says to me:
"I know, it's sold out everywhere! I'm surprised we still have it at this store. Yesterday I went to about three targets before I found it and even then it was one of the last copies" um…….I'm I missing something? I don't get it….how and why would he go to target if he works at F.Y.E??? Even worse, why would he go to THREE different targets??? Who is this idiot and why I'm I trusting him to correctly run my credit card transaction??? Where is his baby sitter?
Welcome to the Dollhouse is a great dance album…I'm loving it…so far…I haven't listened to the entire CD yet...But so far…it's awesome….I love my brainless chick music…
I could be brainy and use big words, watch intelligent movies, read boring books and prove to the world that I'm super smart, a genius in fact…or I could have subscriptions to Instyle magazine,Vogue, Bazaar magazine and Marie Claire, listen to Danity Kane, watch "my fair brady" religiously all the while maintaining a 4.0 and being the fabulous person that I am now….. I think I'll stay the same and let my work speak for itself. Part of being a genius is being able to switch it on and off.
PS: I love how Diddy doesn't let the world forget that he is the queen B of bad boy….all his little snippets are thrilling …. NOT!
Oh yeah, if you're wondering, I just justified my purchase of the Danity Kane album...I love blogging

Don't try this at home b*tches

Spring is here and I believe that it is our (You and I) responsibility to remind each other that some things are better left on the runway....

This dress from the Spring 2008 Ready-to-Wear collection by Emilio Pucci looks fierce on the runway but is more likely than not to look atrocious anywhere else.... Very few people can pull it off.........

Consider yourselves warned!

All the rage

I blogged about this a little while ago and now the April issue of Marie claire claims that they will be "all the rage this spring"...Thats right Bitches..consider yourselves educated....

Just for shits and giggles..

I know this is an old picture but its STILL funny