It's fashion week bitches

It's that time of the year again...Just as the days are starting to get shorter and the nights longer (??), we are reminded by the Spring '09 fashion week that the sun will shine again....!!........ hallelujah!

PS: When the sun DOES infact shine again and they re-open the pools, don't try this look at home bitches..

This is the kind of swim suit that breaks good bodies..so unless you spend your days on the cat walk, consider yourselves warned.

FYI...it's by Herve Leger for Max Azaria...if you're brave and want to go for it

PET PEEVE # 454025465419876521

Improper/Inappropriate use of paperclips.

When people clip 35 sheets of paper with a tiny little paper clip that is stretched out beyond recognition OR when they clip two sheets of paper with a gigantic binder clip. It's all wrong and it flabbergasts and annoys me the same way.

THIS however, is a much more appropriate use of the paper/binder clip. We should all move to Thailand!

Question

Why is it that the first female ever nominated to be vice president is plagued with all the issues that you would expect a female to be plagued with? Why couldn't they find a woman with less drama to put in the lime light..

I'm not mad about Sarah Palins personal life...In fact, I don't care. I think it's irrelevant.... I'm just pissed that as the first potential female vice-president, she's not a much stronger candidate representing all the strong women in the world... Are there any normal women in politics?

Where is Nancy Pelosi when we need her? If she was Republican would they have picked her instead? At least she's normal...as far as we know... ugh! disappointed.

In happier news...Karl Lagerfeld hit the nail on the head with this. I feel the same exact way.

XO.

naughty

went to NYC this past weekend...ended up at Saks and eventually did something naughty...

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44!!!

Oh yeah...Lil Mama is foolish for these two separate but related occasions

LOL!!

Crazy scarf and outfit aside, I still find him hot and I think that he and Blair should totally make some wild love next season.

Paris Hilton typically sucks but today...she rocks! Why?

Because she schooled a presidential candidate!

I'm pretty sure several people in the McCain camp just got pink slips. The Obama- Paris comparison is awesome in theory but surely someone should have noticed that Paris' mom is a contributer and supporter of the senator(McCain) before running the otherwise brilliant ad......

Cheap tactics and propaganda aside, he just got schooled by an heiress who promisses to paint the white house pink, should she "win" the election....

Thats hot!

AMEN!!!!!!!!! This made my day

I need a new bag for work...would this suffice? Or is it played out?

Hawaiiiiiii here I come bitches!

Going to Hawaii in 5 weeks...

Officially on the "watermelon" diet... first two days were a success....lets see how tomorrow goes.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

UGH!

I got "Carried away!"..... and I loved it!!

At exactly 11:59pm last night, I got "Carried away"...and I savored EVERY moment of the 2hrs and 25minute designer filled eutopic heaven....

It's like a rollercoaster ride and I'm ready to get back on it..... Can't wait to see it again on Sunday...Once you've been to shoe heaven, you have to go back! at least once!

ok......????

You've got my attention alright..I'm so shocked I dont know what to think.... but I know one thing for sure...she's got BALLS...BIG ONES!!

Fierceness to the max!

Heidi Klum is a vision in that red dress. Well played Mrs. I'm- freakin-perfect-there's-not-much-I-can-do-to-get-in-the-way-of-my-flawlessness! Well, played!

***Sigh***

I woke up this morning feeling unnecessary, unjustifiable and rather portly I must say......

The dull weather is not helping me much either........

I'm a little late to the party

I just invested in my first spring/summer 2008 nail polish color... I love it...it's sheer and looks clean.....now if only I can get it on without somehow managing to smudge it to the point where I could use my nails as sand paper...

Wish me luck

Tip of the day: Simplicity

When in doubt, always go for the simple chic look.

This is what happens when an elf moves to India

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't make this shiz up!

Perfectly symmetrical?

So the love of my life comes into my office this evening while I am hard at work on my facebook page. Right after he kisses me hello, he says "HAH! Your zit is perfectly symmetrical. It's perfect!" and walks away like it's not a big deal................. CRINGE!!!!!

Can you walk in heels?

Sergio Rossis creative director, Edmundo Castillo is in the May 2008 issue of Marie Claire giving tips on how to wear heels...

1. Change heel heights several times a day. Feet and legs shouldn't be allowed to mold themselves to any one shoe shape. (I could try that. I usually take my shoes off while I'm at my desk so I think I have this one covered)
2. Shoes are an emotional accessory; hurt your feet, hurt your feelings (whoa! slow down there...I read about the furniliac...or whatever that person who was loving his patio table is but emotions tied to shoes?? really??)
3. Befriend a salesperson who will tell you if a shoe will actually feel as good as it looks. (The people at the payless in my mall don't give a shit about me)
4. If you feel all the weight in the front of your foot, this heel's your arch enemy- literally.
5. Your foot needs to 'sit' in a shoe. If you can wedge two fingers between your sole- bye,bye
6. Platforms should be no more than one-and-a-half inches high- or you're dangling off a cliff. (I'll definitely be telling this to all my stripper friends. They could add "dangling off a cliff" to their lengthy resumes)
7. Think Cinderella: A heeled shoe must fit perfectly. Faking it with the wrong size will get ugly. (But the size options are so limited at Ross!)
8. Don't shoe shop with swollen feet e.g, when it's hot or right after exercise.
9. To elongate your legs, ankle straps should sit above the ankle bone. (oh men! anyone ever gotten those ankle strap shoes from payless that have elastic straps??? those bitches HURT!)
10. Still wobbling when you walk in your heels? Practice

Alright bitches.. Consider yourselves informed. The question remains: Can you walk in heels? Say it with me: "YES WE CAN!" May these ten steps guide you in the right direction in your future shoe lives.

Jason Mraz

I'm about to get on a 3.5hour road trip to see Jason Mraz and I'm psyched!!! So happy...Not only is he amazingly talented, he's also hot! aha! so happy! I probably shouldn't be going on freaking road trip 2 weeks before the finals but who cares..I love him!

UPDATE: The show was awesome! he is so humble and down to earth he was in line before the show jugling and doing "majic" tricks, dancing with people..twirling girls around...signing autographs just being plain goofy...bushwala opened for him... Justinkredible was there too it wasn't as good as his show at tech..but definitely worth the 7hrs(to and from) on the road....

First Balenciaga, then Bakers and now Steve Madden?

This is disgusting! Why is everyone making a knock off of this shoe??? Next thing you know Charlotte Russe will have their version of this craziness! WHY ??? WHY??? WHY??

umm?? Did I miss something??

I know people like Snoop always have to step out of the box to get noticed on the red carpet but.....did I miss something? He's going country now? Is that what this sheer atrociousness is about? I'm confused

Giant sized shower cap

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

A hideous shirt convention

The Simmons sisters are 'wholesome' girls and I hate to be the one to talk shit about them but WTF? They've been in the public eye long enough to know that they need to hire a stylist. 90% of the outfits they wear on the red carpet are crap. Pure unadulterated crap. These outfits from last night however are on another level of hideousnesly inappropriate! Where the hell did Angelas top come from? Don't they live in New York? They should do themselves a favor and people watch.... Maybe then they'd realize that their two shirts were never really a part of any trend....

Get a stylist ladies! They most certainly can't afford not to get one! Maybe they'll find someone nice who'll give them a two-for-the-price-of-one deal??

Jennifer Love-WTF?

Who dressed this poor woman? Why for the love of god almighty why??

..Whats with the bowtie on the front of that unflattering dress? Bowties are fine but if you're going to have one on a yellow dress then get dramatic with it..the bigger, the better. Everyone will understand. The pants with the shoes are atrocious.Wrong in EVERY sense of the word!

Word on the street is that this outfit was actually meant for Miley Cyrus. She took one look and said "HEoll to the NO!"

Friends shouldn't let friends leave the house dressed like that. Remember to love one another b*tches!

A little effort goes a long way

The last time I got an oil change at my neighborhood jiffy lube I swore that I would never go back there again…but lo and behold, I was desperate once again for an oil change and didn’t have the time or the energy to drive to the neighboring state(where I used to live) to get my oil change from my favorite people….so I cringe, grit my teeth, wash my hair and I suck it up and go to the same Jiffy lube that ruined my day a little over three months ago…

I leave the house looking decent (it wasn't planned. Pure coincidence). Nothing spectacular but definitely on the cute side and the minute I drive up to Jiffy lube a gentleman stops what he is doing and RUNS up to my car, says hello in the most pleasant of ways and ESCORTS me to the waiting area…On the way to the waiting room they(the knuckle headed employees that were total as*holes the last time I was there) ALL called me ma’am, they thanked me after every sentence, explained exactly what they were doing to my car and asked for my opinion and finally they ALL said goodbye to me..it was almost as good as going to my the old oil change place where I was treated like the princess I am. This goes to prove my point, if you brush your hair and wear a cute outfit, you get better service…It’s not fair but that’s life.

Consider yourselves knowledgeable b*tches…go forth and wear cute clothes!

Enough is enough!

Someone at Bad Boy *ahem..Diddy* has got to be able to afford a stylist for these poor girls...Aubrey and Aundrea have worn the same shoes in two separate photo shoots(on 2 separate days this week)....Which would be fine if the shoes were fierce...these shoes are "cute" at best.

they need to bring out their A game now more than ever because they are constantly being photographed while promoting their album...

D. Woods and Shannon look like they are going to the mall, Dawn and Aundrea look like they are about to hit the club while Aubrey...ugh! poor girl

It's SPRING b*tches!

I've already brought out my pastels...have you?

Caption this

The problem with Audrey O'Days' hair, make-up and outfit is ___________________

Sucka for love

"I'm addicted to Kissing and Hugging
touching and rubbing
I'm a sucka for love, for love, for love.

If you're addicted to kissing and hugging
touching and rubbing
you sucka for love, for love,for love"

- Danity Kane

When bad clothes happen to crazy people

So, crazy Heather McCartney a.k.a Ms. Outlandish is getting ready to go to court to hear the verdict on how much of her former husbands fortune, she’s going to get and she says to her stylist:

Ms. Outlandish: So, I’m probably getting $50million dollars which isn’t much. I wanted more. (GOLD DIGGING HEFFER)

Sylist: Yeah. That’s a b*tch…that A-hole! We have to make you look fierce. Let’s show him how hot you truly are.

Ms. Outlandish: YEAH!

Stylist: I know, lets put you in a clown outfit…BUT! With a twist. We’ll make it look like you are wearing a 70s suit. Maybe a Zoot suit? Nah. That’s too much..I’ll tone it down. You’ll be HOTT!

She showed to court looking like that. The judge gave her one look and awarded $24million dollars. Why? Because clowns don’t need $50 million!

Ps: Ms. Outlandish, Fire your stylist!! Wearing bright red lipstick with bright red eyeshadow is a crime against fashion..but THAT outfit is a crime against humanity.

Welcome to the Dollhouse

Anyone who even remotely knows me, knows that I'm a sucker for all things girly and brainless…chick flicks, chick music, angry girl music…you name it, I'm all about it… In fact, one of my favorite movies of all time is '10 things I hate about you'….R.I.P Heath Ledger…
The Danity Kane album came out yesterday and I have been going crazy trying to find it because it seems to be sold out everywhere…I went to target yesterday and the general manager told me that it's probably not on the shelf because a lot of people called in sick…
um??? I didn't get it…but I'm assuming he meant, to say "go fuck yourself"
So I decide that I'm getting it today come rain or shine! it is actually raining today. How fitting!
along with liking girly knick knacks, I also like being able to sample shiz before it's reviewed. That way, I can have an honest opinion of my investment….If I read a movie/music review before I listen to the album or watch the movie, I freak out and don't watch it…why? Most chick flicks/albums get a C grade…but if I've already bought the album and it gets a C rating??? Who gives a shit? I LOVE it! I'm a little screwy I must admit.... I didn't watch 27 dresses because I waited too long to go see it and by then I'd heard that it wasn't that great of a movie…I still regret not seeing it opening weekend…but I digress
Anyway, I go to another target today and it's sold out there too, then to Barnes and Noble and its sold out there…so I drive to the ghetto mall knowing it couldn't be sold out there and sure enough, it's not…at the checkout counter, I'm talking to the douche and telling him how I've been everywhere and couldn't find the album and he says to me:
"I know, it's sold out everywhere! I'm surprised we still have it at this store. Yesterday I went to about three targets before I found it and even then it was one of the last copies" um…….I'm I missing something? I don't get it….how and why would he go to target if he works at F.Y.E??? Even worse, why would he go to THREE different targets??? Who is this idiot and why I'm I trusting him to correctly run my credit card transaction??? Where is his baby sitter?
Welcome to the Dollhouse is a great dance album…I'm loving it…so far…I haven't listened to the entire CD yet...But so far…it's awesome….I love my brainless chick music…
I could be brainy and use big words, watch intelligent movies, read boring books and prove to the world that I'm super smart, a genius in fact…or I could have subscriptions to Instyle magazine,Vogue, Bazaar magazine and Marie Claire, listen to Danity Kane, watch "my fair brady" religiously all the while maintaining a 4.0 and being the fabulous person that I am now….. I think I'll stay the same and let my work speak for itself. Part of being a genius is being able to switch it on and off.
PS: I love how Diddy doesn't let the world forget that he is the queen B of bad boy….all his little snippets are thrilling …. NOT!
Oh yeah, if you're wondering, I just justified my purchase of the Danity Kane album...I love blogging

Don't try this at home b*tches

Spring is here and I believe that it is our (You and I) responsibility to remind each other that some things are better left on the runway....

This dress from the Spring 2008 Ready-to-Wear collection by Emilio Pucci looks fierce on the runway but is more likely than not to look atrocious anywhere else.... Very few people can pull it off.........

Consider yourselves warned!

All the rage

I blogged about this a little while ago and now the April issue of Marie claire claims that they will be "all the rage this spring"...Thats right Bitches..consider yourselves educated....

Just for shits and giggles..

I know this is an old picture but its STILL funny

Spring fashion alert

"If you can lift your arm up this spring, you're not wearing enough bracelets"- Salvatore Ferragamo

Girlpower

I'm going to the Spicegirls concert soon and I'm wondering what type of outfit would be appropriate for a SPICEGIRLS concert..I mean I can't look too posh because VB will be there...

Decision, Decisions......

I'm leaning towards skinny jeans..but I'm not sure yet... will update later.

Rrrrooaar!!!

This Gucci patent leather peeptoe Bootie is going to be all the rage this spring.....

It's the kind of shoe that could make any ensemble FIERCE..and I mean ANYTHING

Ladies and Gentlemen…we HAVE arrived!

Introducing, the Coco Chanel cell phone concept by professional accessories designer of luxury products, Fred de GARILHE.

WOW! Now thats what I call innovation...10 fingers up!

Todays look of the day- Tuleh runway collection

Out of respect for fashion week, I will update the blog with my favorite looks from the days runway shows and have a "look of the day" segment everyday.

This look is from the Tuleh collection I love the colors and the details on this outfit from the herringbone jacket to the glittery stripes on the sweater to the yellow A-line skirt...ohhh and the boots, the boots! Love them!

What I love about this look is it's funky, colorful but not crazy. I would feel totally comfortable wearing this to work..

10 fingers up Tuleh!

I might not be watching the Super Bowl right now.......

BUT!!!! I'm sending positive vibes your way Mr. Hotness.

GET 'EM BRADY!

BAM!

Look of the day!!! Pre-Fall 2008. Thank you Uncle Karl.

From Nicole Miller, to Rag & Bone to Yigal Azrouel.....They WILL be back!

Say it with me......

AMEN!!!

Fall 2008 fashion plea

Dear fashion gods,

Please don't kill the black tights and platform mary-janes trend..... When all else fails, my black tights always look fab!

All my love,

Fashion victim.

PS: I can't wait for the day you get rid of ALL kinds of animal prints!!

Soooooo Excited

Dear Proffesor Newbie,

I know...you're pretty new at this whole "college gig" thing...but cut the crap!!
I don't have time to do little assignments every week just to make sure that YOU know I read the chapter before class....you categorically SUCK!

Oh yeah FYI, I hate you!

Smooches,

- Irritated student.

Priscilla, oh, Priscilla

I haven't worked at Hellz Kitchen in about 9 months and I get a call from Priscilla (the replacement aka the new PA) and this is how the conversation goes:

Me: Hello

P: Hey there how are you?

Me: Good

P: Question for ya

Me: ok

P: Mr. Orange Conhead from Monkeys Inc hasn't shown up to work in over a week and they are getting worried about him. The number we have on file is an old number for him but I see here that you sent him a new ATM last March

Me: ATM? Whats an ATM?

P: Acknowledgement of Terms of Employment

Me: oh u mean ATE?

P: Yes. Anyway the phone number we have on file is from 2003 and im wondering whether you would know where I could find an updated number for him.

Me: oh ok. Please hold as I pull up my Rolodex that I keep with past employees from companies that I dont even work for anymore......

WHAT AN IDIOT!

Say what you want abt Ashlee Simpson but.......

Thats Hott!

Brand new day...brand new me

I've decided that since I'm no longer working in Hedes(and haven't been since June 2007) I'll blog about every other vain subject available...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

we'll see...

things I hate at the moment:

1. All the music in my ipod.
2. these last 5 lbs that wont go anywhere...AAAAAA
3. the fact that everything requires patience (which I dont have)
4. pull ups (long story)

best part of my day:

1. Finding out about the new OPI colors coming up in the spring...we are going from Russia to India....thanx trixie